True Happiness Can Only Be Achieved Through Death!

When I did a search to see if I could find anyone who talked about this, I came across some works of the Dalai Lama and the ‘Art of Happiness’. Where he stated that even though our happiness is influenced by what we have and what happens to us, the source of long term happiness in mental. Being that it is mental, the most effective way to seek happiness is by training our minds, which is a gradual, life-long process. “The practice of Dharma is a constant battle within, replacing previous negative conditioning or habituation with new positive conditioning. ... Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves." [page 43]

The ‘Death’ involved is the death of limiting beliefs, thought patterns, behaviours, things that we have always done in the past. We all have a certain method of operation that was developed along this journey of ‘growing up’. For the most part, it has served us well, as I assume that we are all (for the most part lol) well-adjusted members of society. We get dressed, go about our days, do some work, feed ourselves, have relationships, take care of our loved ones, provide for ourselves and compared to some areas of the world, we really have nothing to complain about. But are we truly Happy?

I like to people watch, whether I am in a restaurant, in the park, walking down the street, in the grocery store, on public transit or wherever…..Observation is one of my strongest skills (has been since I was a kid), and I like to watch how people conduct themselves and relate to those around them and I have to say……..the majority of the behaviour and interaction that I see is NOT that of a Happy society……..and I used to be right in the middle of all of that.

When you think about how the path of your life has been going up until this point, I can’t help but cue up Dr. Phil with his famous, “How’s that working out for ya?”…….when I actually took some time and looked at how things were going in my life and asked myself that question…….it wasn’t working out that great. Sure I had a career, I survived a failed marriage, I had friends, I had a decent relationship with my family members, I owned my own condo, paid my bills, did volunteer work……..but at the end of the day, when I came home at night, when I was truly honest with myself…….I wasn’t happy. I felt empty, alone, unfulfilled, desperate for change, but what? When I allowed myself to feel those feeling, then I would get that part of my mind nattering at me, “what are you complaining about? Look at all that you have! There are people around the world that would kill for what you have.” So I would feel guilty for thinking that way, and push it aside and continue with my regular M.O……..and I think that most of us get caught in that trap.

It took a catastrophic event for me to actually STOP and realize that I could not continue down this path that I was on……..and I truly hope that you don’t have to get to that point, as I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone…….but I want to encourage you to take stock of your life. Put aside all the things that you have accomplished, all the material things that you have worked hard for and accumulated, all the ‘trappings’ of life and just look inwards……..what do you feel? Sit quietly, close your eyes and ask yourself, “what am I feeling?”…..and then just listen….What are the first words that pop into your head? Don’t force it….just let the words and emotions bubble up. Keep going until you feel empty…….maybe even set your phone to record as you say what each word is as it comes up, in case you really get on a roll! What were your predominate words? Were there words that came up several times? Did the words have emotions attached to them? After looking at that list, how do they reflect what is going on in your life? Does your emotional world match or is it at conflict with how you show up physically in the world?

If you cannot say that you are truly living a life of pure happiness, in EVERY aspect of your life, then I would suggest that maybe you want to take a look at that. Maybe you have some old thought patterns, limiting beliefs and behaviours that are ready to be put to rest.  Are you ready for those negative aspects that have been controlling how you show up in the world, to be put to ‘death’? Are you ready to see what life can be like after that ‘death’?

I have seen a lot of people say, “just BE Happy!”…….sure, you can put on a happy face, and act like everything is perfect……..but what does that prove? I did that for decades, and it nearly actually killed me. Living a life of integrity, where what I say, do and believe are all in alignment, is SO important to me now and I encourage you to do the same. Once we deal with all the mental and emotional “stuff” that has accumulated over the years, and do the work to release it, all that is left is Happiness…….as that is our true essence.

Over the last couple of years, I have done a lot of personal work on my own, and have had great results in changing how I think, believe and perceive the world, but I know that I have some deeper limiting thoughts and beliefs still holding me back, those programs that are constantly running in my mind and I am SO ready for them to go to their ‘deaths’. So over the next little while, I am looking forward to some mental and emotional ‘funerals’ happening, as I work with someone who is highly trained at helping people move past their ‘stuff’ and discovering their Excellence. I cannot wait to see what life will hold after these ‘deaths’ occur.

I am looking forward to the ‘rest of my life, being the BEST of my life!’

What's in your Pandora's Box?

According to Greek Mythology, the box (or rightfully, a jar) was a gift that Zeus had given Pandora and she was told that she was never to open. With the natural curiosity that most women have, she did and unleashed untold evils upon the world.

Today, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but it turns out to have detrimental and far reaching consequences.

Did you know that we all have our own personal Pandora's Box? It is located right between our ears! What it contains, I would argue, are not untold evils, but emotional hurts that we gather up as we go through life.

Somewhere along the line we are all taught that emotions are scary and to be feared, and the sad part is, we are rarely taught how to deal with them effectively. We either let them completely consume us,  or we try to ignore them and stuff them down so we don't have to deal with them. Which ever method we choose, the reality is, they are always there in the background driving every action that we do. Just like that app on your smartphone that is constantly running in the background without you taking notice of it, it drains all the power out of your battery. You're left bewildered, thinking you have done everything right, yet with time, that battery keeps getting drained faster and faster.

Have you ever wondered why you keep getting involved with the same people over and over again, and it always ends in heart ache?  Or you find someone great, maybe even 'the one' and you end up doing something to push them away? Tried every diet on the market, but you just gain the weight back, or no matter what job you have, you always end up hating it? We all find different ways of 'stuffing' our emotions. Whether it be drowning them in alcohol, numbing them with prescription or recreational drugs, over eating, starving ourselves, activities of self loathing, isolating ourselves from the world and other people, never letting anyone get close to us for fear that they will add yet another hurt to the pile. In doing those things, we only end up hurting and punishing ourselves, and in a lot of cases if we were asked why we do it, we couldn't give an actual answer.  I know I am not the only one that has had a situation in life that you seem to be doomed to keep re-living! But it doesn't have to be that way. I have realized what the secret is to change your course in life, but the problem is, it's not an easy process, it's going to hurt, it takes a lot of courage to stay the course and you will feel like giving up more than a few times. The choice lies in whether you want to stay on the same path that you have always been, constantly re-living those situations that drive you insane, or are you sick and tired of being sick and tired and are open to some change in your life? What if I told you that one thing that most people don't realize about Pandora's Box, is that after all the 'untold evils' had been released, there was one more thing that stayed at the bottom of the jar.........and that one thing was the Seed of Hope.

If you knew that once you released and dealt with all those emotional hurts that you have been carrying around with you for years and years, that all that would be left was hope.......hope for a brand new future, hope for happiness to overtake your life, hope to live the life that you thought was only a dream.........would you do it? Would it be worth it to you?

I am no different than anyone else, I have collected various kind of emotional hurts throughout my life....but with not knowing how to deal with them, I choose to ignore them and stuff them so far deep inside that I forgot that they were there. Over the years, my Pandora's box grew and grew as I continually stuffed more and more into it, until finally one day it reached it's critical mass and began to crack. In what seemed like all of a sudden, all these emotions that I had held at bay for so long came rushing at me with a force that took my breath away.  To say it was overwhelming, would be putting it mildly. Like Pandora, as they came rushing out, I tried in vain to gather them up and stuff them back in the box, but once released there was no turning back. I had no choice but to one by one, stare them in the face and get to the root of them.  Once you start the process of getting to the root of them, it opens your eyes to a whole new world that was living inside of you that you didn't even know was there. How what seemed to be a simple incident in childhood got so ingrained in your brain that you can now see where it has reared it's ugly head over and over and over. There are days when it just seems like it would have just been easier if they had all just stayed in the box, but the reality is the time had come, that I was finally strong enough to deal with them. Now, in saying that, there are more days than not where I don't exactly feel strong, but I know instinctively that I am. I have reached the point in my life where I was ready to say ENOUGH!

I am now in the process of building up a 'tool chest' of strategies to help me deal with those latent emotions when they want to rear their ugly heads. Now that I am open to finding these strategies, I am finding that there are SO many ways and so many people out there that are trained to help you in this.  The trick is to find what works best for you. You could chose to look at NLP, EFT (aka tapping), hypnotherapy, traditional (psychiatric) therapy, EMDR, meditation, life coaches, the list is endless......but the main question I am now asking myself is why.........why is this situation causing me to feel the way I do? What is it in my past that is triggering this? When you finally begin to see patterns develop, and being to recognize your triggers, you are able to respond quicker to dealing with that emotion and hopefully, over time, eradicating it from your subconscious. As you learn to deal with the emotions as they come up, you will see that they eventually start to lose their power over you, finally releasing you from their tight grip.

Now, I am not saying that all emotions are bad........as they are not. There are some pretty awesome emotions out there as well.  I would rather be considered an emotional person, than one that is so hardened and detached that they don't feel a thing.  The trick is learning to control them, and not let them control you!

So, my wish for you, is that when you are ready, you find the courage to crack open your personal Pandora's Box, release those old emotional hurts, surround yourself with a support system to help you through the process, to find your HOPE on the other side.

Miraculous Communication

The Link for what is left of the 21 day Meditation Challenge is: https://chopracentermeditation.com/home